Part 1: Semi-Pro Looking For A Semi-Ho

After watching "What Happens In Vegas" (starring Ashton Kutcher), I had an epiphany about the last time I actually went to Sin City. It happened last year for my buddy's bachelor party. In LA standards that's a freakin long time. No wonder a certain level of emptiness has created a huge void in my life. Like a drug addict, I needed a quick fix. I need some wrong in my life. No other place does this any better than the 5-letter word, V-E-G-A-S. We use the alphabet game to learn our ABCs. This is what I use to remind me of the sacred place:

V ixens
E rotic Adventures (Sapphires, Deja-Vu...do I need to continue)
G irls Girls Girls (Motely Crue style)
A ll-U-Can Eat/Drink (TI has the best lunch buffet....hello Beef Stew noodles)
S oberphobia (Chivas On The Rocks)

So I answered the WHY, the question is WHEN. Drumroll please....10/31, Halloween! There have been some great combinations in our lifetime:

Adam and Eve, Sugar and Spice, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Jordan and Pippen, Redbull and Vodka

But nothing I MEAN NOTHING beats Vegas and Halloween. Move over Frankenstein, Vegas + Halloween = HO-LLOWEN. ITS ALIVE ITS ALIVE!!! So who is brave enough to venture up the I-15 to a place filled with a smorgasbord of desires and pleasures. Do I see a raise of 3 hands? I will take the passion of SUITING UP as Jackie Moon from Semi-Pro. Bobby will super transform to Disco Bobb-E and dance to the beats of Saturday Night Fever. For Ivan, your going to have to see it to believe it. He has the perfect stimulus package to rescue Vegas...HAHA. I'll post all our costumes in Part 2 of this blog entry. So I hope everyone enjoys their wicked weekend. Trick or treat, give me someone sweet to eat!

Peace!

Park Behind The Blue Line...

Before I explain the meaning behind today's blog entry title, let me tell you something about my weekend...

This past weekend, Kelvin and I headed off to Tampa, Florida for our annual Buccaneers game. Since we are such time managment geniuses, we decided to catch the Red Eye flight to Houston-Tampa. If you ever want just 2 hours of actual sleep, I highly recommend the torture. On our lay over in Houston, only devouring a Wendy's breakfeast burrito and walking endlessly along the A/B/C/D/E wings of the airport allowed me to pass out temporarily on the benches of our terminal. Just imagine Tom Hanks wandering around in the movie Terminal (Hilarious!). At this point my mind already entered a state of delirium; mental garbage swimming in and out of my cranium via iPhone.

6AM At Houston Aiport

Thanks to Fon's email, I was able to entertain myself on the notion "Can a single guy and a single girl be just friends?". So I did some digging. Based off a recent poll on the Internet, the results state the following:

18% = Not Likely
38% = Sure, but it's not easy.
12% = No way, my ex bf/gf left me for his/her "friend"
32% = Yes, I have tons of guys/girls that are just my friends

Exhibit A: Ted and Barney in "How I Met Your Mother". They both caved into the seductive prowess of Robin Scherbatsky; all three are single friends. Exhibit B: "When Harry Met Sally" principle. Many great scholars agree (i.e. Tom Leykis) with this notion. Simply stated, a single guy and single girl can only be friends when one does not find each other attractive = Un-Porkable. Here's a percentage to think about. Are 32% of your single friends not good-looking enough to shag it in the bedroom? Look at it from another perspective, are 67% of your attractive single friends (same or opposite gender...depends on your preference) on The List of Porkables?

This takes us back to my initial spill on "Park Behind The Blue Line". The origins of the concept derived from the self-parking setup at the Renaissance Hotel in Tampa, FL. Since Marriott and International Shopping Plaza shared the same parking lot, hotel officials decided to draw a blue line on the pavement to indicate to hotel guests that they must park behind the Blue Line. This is where I made the connection. Friends always park behind the Blue Line, because if we openly shared our sexual intentions with one another the friendship is ultimately doomed. Yes boys and girls sexual tension will always be in the equation. Now look around and see who are your friends and who are not...LOL