Part II: Mission Accomplished

9 - Chivas On The Rocks (COTR)
3 - Glasses of Beer
3 - Sake Shots
2 - Mind Erasers
2 - Patron Shots
2 - Soco Lime Shots
1 - Yager Shot
1 - Red-Headed Slut
1 - Margarita Frozen Drink
1 - Jackie Moon Costume
1 - Deadly Virus
2 - Weeks of Hibernation

Later...

I survived my own Armageddon and lived another day to share the rest of my story behind the Vegas trip. How did I evolve from Invincible to Vulnerable? Well the last time we spoke, I was on my way to Vegas for Halloween. Driving non-stop up the I-15 to the tunes of my beloved iPhone 3G, we arrived in Sin City at warp speeds (3.5 hrs) following the yellow brick road to MGM. After all the boring stuff was taken care of, we finally SUITed up for HALLOWEEN Wonderland Tricks or Treats @ Jet Nightclub.

The Three Amigos

And how does Vegas welcome its awesome visitors? We get greeted by BOOTY everywhere. YES FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!

Booty Ultimatum

I always wondered why guys go to clubs with the mentality that they are going to score, when in fact nothing will happen if you do not MAN-UP and approach. It is a sad reality when most of us just end up getting buzzed or drunk, and drunk-calling every female on our contact list. Yes I admit I have had those moments also. Like Kelvin has said, "Initiating the conversation is half the battle." Live in the MOMENT and go ALL-IN! (Man I love using CAPS-LOCK)...My two-cents of the day. Now back to my journey....

My adventure began in JET in search for my Semi-Ho. It was like finding a needle in a hay stack, actually not really...its HO-LLOWEEN! There is one in every corner. I activated my sonar beacon attempting to detect an ounce of Ho-ness in this venue. HO......HO......HO...HOHOHOHOHO. I found her! My lucky winner was a Katharine McPhee look-alike, so I began spitting some game "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...I'm a Semi-Pro looking for a Semi-Ho". She threw up her hands with proud and honor, and shouted "I'M A SEMI-HO!". She was the chosen one. I bought her a Yager shot as her reward (I could of saved $$$, but Ivan bought us the rounds). Then I took her hand and gave her the KTL tour around the club, danced like no tomorrow, took a few puffs from her cigarette, and made out with Katharine "I'm A Semi-Ho" McPhee look-alike while exhaling the nicotine back into her mouth. One of my pet peeves is kissing a girl who smokes, but I had to admit that particular moment was HOT! Yes boys and girls smoking is bad for you; therefore, you never inhale, but only exhale...LOL. Everything escalated with good momentum. She even introduced me to her friends. However, that is when I finally ran into a brick wall. She started getting hysterical asking me to look for $300 that she supposedly lost. After making laps around the dance floor in search of her missing treasure (it felt like running a mini-10K), I decided to bail. Maybe, if I stuck around I would of scored. The story of my life. So, I pretended like nothing happened and decided to rejoin Disco-B and Ivan "The Stimulus" Package. And this is what I found:

Kimichi Loving

Ivan Found A Home Buyer

After a night of drinking, Pho is PHOTASTIC!

Pho @ Pho Kim Long

Initially, we decided take it easy on our 2nd night in Vegas. I mean can we really party two nights in a row? Are we equipped both physically and mentally to go back into the battle field? After fully digesting our delicious Korean BBQ meal, the initial thought quickly evaporated into thin air. I guess shots of soju and glasses of beer changes your mind as quick as Usain Bolt. To facilitate our partying ways, we decide to continue our escapades in MGM. This time we all SUITed up in white...HAHA! First stop was TABU. They call it an ultra lounge, but its just another word for mini-club.

Here We Go Again

How many places can you actually: 1) Party 2) Step outside for a bit 3) Win some money @ the tables 4) Go back into the club and party some more = V + E + G + A + S.

Here We Go Again: Take 2

So now the question is how did I contract the deadly virus that would eventually take me out of commission for two weeks? Haha...another day another story. VIA LAS VEGAS!

Park Behind The Blue Line...

Before I explain the meaning behind today's blog entry title, let me tell you something about my weekend...

This past weekend, Kelvin and I headed off to Tampa, Florida for our annual Buccaneers game. Since we are such time managment geniuses, we decided to catch the Red Eye flight to Houston-Tampa. If you ever want just 2 hours of actual sleep, I highly recommend the torture. On our lay over in Houston, only devouring a Wendy's breakfeast burrito and walking endlessly along the A/B/C/D/E wings of the airport allowed me to pass out temporarily on the benches of our terminal. Just imagine Tom Hanks wandering around in the movie Terminal (Hilarious!). At this point my mind already entered a state of delirium; mental garbage swimming in and out of my cranium via iPhone.

6AM At Houston Aiport

Thanks to Fon's email, I was able to entertain myself on the notion "Can a single guy and a single girl be just friends?". So I did some digging. Based off a recent poll on the Internet, the results state the following:

18% = Not Likely
38% = Sure, but it's not easy.
12% = No way, my ex bf/gf left me for his/her "friend"
32% = Yes, I have tons of guys/girls that are just my friends

Exhibit A: Ted and Barney in "How I Met Your Mother". They both caved into the seductive prowess of Robin Scherbatsky; all three are single friends. Exhibit B: "When Harry Met Sally" principle. Many great scholars agree (i.e. Tom Leykis) with this notion. Simply stated, a single guy and single girl can only be friends when one does not find each other attractive = Un-Porkable. Here's a percentage to think about. Are 32% of your single friends not good-looking enough to shag it in the bedroom? Look at it from another perspective, are 67% of your attractive single friends (same or opposite gender...depends on your preference) on The List of Porkables?

This takes us back to my initial spill on "Park Behind The Blue Line". The origins of the concept derived from the self-parking setup at the Renaissance Hotel in Tampa, FL. Since Marriott and International Shopping Plaza shared the same parking lot, hotel officials decided to draw a blue line on the pavement to indicate to hotel guests that they must park behind the Blue Line. This is where I made the connection. Friends always park behind the Blue Line, because if we openly shared our sexual intentions with one another the friendship is ultimately doomed. Yes boys and girls sexual tension will always be in the equation. Now look around and see who are your friends and who are not...LOL

Things To Do At A Dodger Game?

So my best friend, Kelvin, won Dodger tickets from work and decided to "Take me out to the ball game, Take me out with the crowd...." It was his first time at the historical "ghetto" stadium (probably his last) and my second visit (probably my last also). Being the bitter sunflower-eating Angel fan, he booed throughout the game, pointed out how many security guards were on the field (see Oakland Raiders), went back and forth on Angel and Dodger comparisons, and praised the Angels for acquiring Mark Teixeira from the Braves.

Why Am I Here?

Dodger Stadium

I too was beyond bored....so what did we do for 8 innings? We busted out our iPhones and compared notes. As the iPhone 1st Gen (Slow G) specialist, Kelvin advised (and he attempted to charge me for his services....i guess knowing the guy for 15+ years doesn't mean anything...haha) what applications needed to be loaded on the iPhone.

1. Google Search = Goooooogle it!
2. Loopt = Spyware which allows you to locate your friends.
3. AIM = Gotta have it since the chat app is blocked at work.
4. Yelp! = I will never starve or struggle to find a bar anywhere again.
5. Bloomberg = Need to get up to speed when it comes to my financial news (that's how I can afford the iPhone 3G...hehe)
6. eBay = Man we won Tampa Bay Buccaneers using this client....Bid Bid Bid!
7. Pandora = Internet streaming radio (Thanks Kelvin! By far my favorite app)
8. Remote = Use the iPhone to control your iTunes on your Macbook (everyone needs one).
9. Shazam = Can't identify that song on the radio...Bam Shazam! It even recognizes Spanish tunes...Feliz Navidad
10. Voice Notes = So I can record mi sexy voice over and over and over.....
11. PhoneSaber = Pay tribute to all the Jedi Knights of the world...Dave this ones for you!
12. myLite = Don't have a Maglite or glow sticks handy at the raves.

It's only been a week and I already have so much crap loaded....stay tuned as I tweak IP3G some more.

E.T. iPhone

When I woke up this morning, I was thinking of dedicating today's post to The Dark Knight IMAX Experience, or even further back, July 4th BBQ. However, due to today's change of events, this virtual space is locked and loaded for my one and only iPhone 3G. It was only a few days ago, I was determined to wait 3-5 hours at the Apple Store, but I was left only to find the iPhone sold out at most Apple retail stores. Frustrated at another failed attempt, I decided to reserve it at the AT&T Store and wait 10 business days. But today, I unexpectedly received a phone call that my reserved iPhone 3G Arrived. Since the debut of the original iPhone last year, I waited patiently for the 3G version. The wait has finally paid off, and now belongs in my sole possession. I introduce my iPhone 3G.....HAHAHA